Some brides would say a year is more than enough time to plan for a wedding.
But mine took more than 28 years of preparation!
On the day of my wedding, I woke up a little before my alarm went off. And my first thought was, “God, this is it! I can’t believe it. We’re here!”. I felt like a storybook traveler journeying off to some far away land, and eventually reaching her destination. *kneels, kisses ground* Haha!
There was this overwhelming feeling of absolute awe, gratefulness and anticipation for what was to come. I checked my phone and decided to use the remaining time before my alarm went off to process everything.
I didn't think about the ceremony. Or the weather, or the set up, or whether the band was going to get lost on their way to the venue or not. I wasn’t thinking about the cake, or the giveaways, or the entourage dresses. I wasn’t thinking about all the things that could possibly go wrong (which is something I’m really good at).
I was just looking back at how that unrecognisable road eventually led me to where I am now—HERE, about to embark on my journey to forever with the man of my prayers.
I wish I could say I got here overnight. That I woke up one morning and had it all figured out. But it was a long process of trying, failing, getting up, falling, not wanting to try anymore, but eventually trying again, falling again, praying, waiting, doing things my way, surrendering, and obeying.
(Now would be the best time to play “Bless the Broken Road” by the Rascal Flatts. Haha!)
I had many questions for God, as I’m sure you all have too at times.
I wanted to know why I had to go through relationships that didn’t work out, when I had pretty much been a “good” girl for the most part. I wanted to know why He hadn’t introduced me to BJ earlier when we went to the same school, had the same church friends, went to the same parties and weddings.
I wanted to know why He couldn’t have saved me the trouble and given me the answer from day one. (“Anak, it’s going to be this chinito guy, his name is BJ Albert. Don’t worry, I made him cute, smart and mabango just like you asked. You’ll meet him in 2013, so for now, wag ka na muna makulit ha?”) Hahaha!
Short kwento: I went through this emo phase (thanks to the sappy YA books I’d been reading a lot of) in college. I’d walk the halls of Ateneo, listening to D’Sound’s "Do I Have a Reason" on my white chunky click-wheel iPod.
And every time I bumped into someone cute,
I would think to myself, “What if he’s my soulmate?” or
“What if my future husband was walking around this very campus as well?
What if we had already accidentally bumped into each other?!”
*sabay labas ng oil control film just in case*
God was probably giggling to Himself because I later found out that BJ (who apparently, ahem, had a crush on me in school :p) would always see me walk past the cafeteria to wait by the chapel for my carpool. And that we, in fact, at one point, literally bumped into each other in front of the conyo bench (Ateneans, alam niyo kung saan yan). Only, I didn’t drop my books and meet his gaze and fade into slow motion. Apparently, I just gave him a blank look, and walked away while his barkada burst into fits of laughter. When BJ told me this story, I sighed and asked “Why hadn’t we met earlier?”. To which his reply was, “I used to pop my collar. You wouldn’t have given me the time of day.” Well, true. :p
Anyway, all I’m trying to say is God had a plan all along.
The wedding preparations started the day my mom gave birth to me.
She would always pray that my sister and I end up with God-fearing men.
There were days when things didn't make sense. But when I trusted and believed that His plans for me are better than my plans for myself, things started falling into place.
And if you find yourself getting impatient while waiting, or if you’re currently mending a broken heart, or if you’ve simply “given up on love”, maybe God wants you to use this time to focus all your love and energy on Him first, before He gives you the desires of your heart. Maybe He needs you to understand that you can't depend on a relationship for your identity and self-worth because He's the only one who can fill the void. :)
But if you think you've got all of that down, then we wait. And hit the gym. Haha!
This wedding—this marriage, was more than a coming together of two people for me. It was more than having the people important to us stand witness to our pledge of love and fidelity to each other.
It was, more than anything, a display of God’s sovereignty.
That He knew what He was doing all this time. And I couldn’t be more thankful that I waited for God’s best.
My alarm eventually went off, and I may have skipped and tralala’d my way to the shower. :)
Here are some photos from before the ceremony taken by Pat Dy and his Team. Because I'm senti, I decided to prep and come from the house. It turned out to be a very good decision. Not only were all my photos set in my old home, I was also comfortable prepping in my own room, where all my stuff were. And more importantly, Charlie was there to see me off!