Ask Nikki: How to Wait for the Right One


Hello Nikki,


I got really inspired with your wedding video. I'm single but it made me believe in love again. Tell me exactly, how did you wait? I've been alone my entire life and oftentimes, I want to give up on love. It can get tiring and frustrating at times. And I'm not getting any younger haha!


But upon watching your wedding video, I said to myself maybe I could still wait. Thank you for sharing to the world your blissful and memorable event. I wish you and your husband all the best life has to offer.


-B


Hi B,


First of all, I'd like to thank you for your good wishes. I'm glad our story served as an encouragement to you.


Okay, so I have three things I'd like you to consider:


1) We all have different love stories.

2) How long you wait is not nearly as important as HOW you wait.

3) God has his own timeline.


Let me expound!


We all have different love stories


I grew up surrounded by many different books, but my favourite would have to be the romance novel genre. From the classics to the more modern take on love, I devour these books, in the hope that I’d experience (or avoid) the things that I read about. Was this healthy? I don’t think so. I spent most of my single years wishing I were in the same ideal relationship as the protagonists in my books.


But as I grew older and got to learn from more experienced women, I realised that we all have different love stories. You have OFW couples surviving long distance relationships, individuals meeting their partners after 40, some meeting their partners in high school.


There is no formula.


The only thing I’m sure of is God has a good plan for your life. So make sure your plans are in sync with His. (Without being overly preachy, just pray and stay connected! :p)



How LONG you wait is not nearly as important as HOW you wait.

It’s sad to be on the bitter "all-men-are-the-same" side of the fence. Be cautious, but not jaded. Don’t waste your time grumbling, feeling sorry for yourself and hating men. Don’t waste time stalking your friends who are in a relationship on Facebook while whispering “Maghihiwalay din kayo…” *sabay press ng LIKE*.


Know that every failed relationship of yours

is one step closer to your destiny.


Your attitude while you wait is crucial.


Use this time to focus on your own growth and well-being! Work out, learn a new sport, pick up a new hobby, meet new people, travel! Work on becoming your own person so you don’t end up pressuring your future partner to “complete” you, and feel disappointed when he doesn’t. And FYI, he WILL disappoint you sometimes. Because we are only human.


Being someone’s partner also means being responsible for that person’s heart. Use this time to focus on preparing yourself to be a good partner, instead of focusing on just what you can consume from a relationship.


And more importantly, use this time to focus on your relationship with the One who will never leave you nor hurt you. What helped see me through those lonely days was my leaning on God.


There was a void in my heart that only He could fill. It wasn't always easy, but there was comfort in knowing that God was always close enough to wipe away my tears.



God has his own timetable.


One of the questions I always get asked is if I regret “wasting” many of my years with a person I did not end up with. And my answer is NO.


I believe that God used that time to teach me things and to reveal things about my character I would have otherwise never known.


I know that he can take back the time and give me back the years I’ve “lost”. Which is pretty much what He did with me and BJ. God has his own timetable. And His timing is impeccable. :)


I hope this helps!


If you guys want to send me questions, just email me at nikkigilblogs@gmail.com. Looking forward to hearing from you! :)


Love,

Nikki


#AskNikki #relationshipadvice

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